Some guys are just a bit more commitment phobic than others. Just as there are some guys who dream of marriages and settling down, there are also some guys who simply cannot seem to see themselves settling down. If you think that you have found Mr. Right who just happens to be a commitment phobic man, here are some steps that will help you deal with the situation.
- Make yourself challenging. First of all, make yourself as challenging as possible. There are some guys who simply do not settle down because they have not yet found someone who is their match. By making yourself challenging and rather hard to get, then you will make him realize just how valuable you are and just how much he should be ready to commit to you, just to be able to stay with you. Keep in mind, however, that being challenging and hard to get does not have to be absurd. There is a difference between being challenging and being unattainable. You do not want to give the idea that you are unattainable, too, since this may turn off the guy.
- Determine his issues. Next, also look into his own reasons for being so commitment phobic. Sometimes, men have underlying fears and insecurities that make it difficult for them to settle down. Consider talking to him about his past and his background, which can give you some clues as to why he wants to stay ‘free’ and without commitments. Some guys simply do not want to g through the paint of committing to a relationship, only to find out that the relationship will not work out in the end. If this is the case, then you can help him by showing him that all relationships entail some work and that there are no relationships that are free from risks. And, that all of these are not reasons for not taking the plunge.
- Self respect. Also make sure that you provide yourself with ample self respect. If you chase the guy too much or if you fling yourself for his attention and his commitment too much, then you risk looking like someone who is overly infatuated and who has lost self respect. Just as you should put in some effort into getting him to settle down with you, you should also know your limits. If the guy simply does not want to settle down, then there is no use in forcing him to do so. Respect yourself enough to let go.
- Open your options. Make sure that you also know your options in the relationship. Do you want him enough to wait for him to finally settle down with you? Do you think that you are missing out on other opportunities and other relationships because you are trying too hard in getting this one to work? These questions should help you realize whether investing time and effort in the present relationship with a commitment phobic guy is worth it.
With these steps in mind, you should be able to deal with a man who
cannot seem to settle down. It will take time, patience, and plenty of
introspection, but eventually you should be able to determine how you
will proceed with the relationship, and whether you want to keep the
relationship in the first place.